


The beginning and the end of everything

by pinkskyline



Category: Sex Education (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:41:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22052692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkskyline/pseuds/pinkskyline
Summary: Adam realizes that the most important thing he could do is what he's been trying to do all along, to keep Eric's attention.
Relationships: Eric Effiong/Adam Groff
Comments: 3
Kudos: 279





	The beginning and the end of everything

**Author's Note:**

> My interpretation of Adam and Eric's relationship and how the bullying fits in is not like, trying to normalize it or minimize it, but to portray it as closely to how it is portrayed in the show as possible.

Adam watched Eric get smaller and smaller as the car drove towards the military school. It had been nice, that time in science class, feeling like someone cared. Like he had a connection. Even better than the sex had felt, and that had felt pretty good.

He knew his harassment of Eric had probably started off as pulling pigtails, not that he would have been able to admit it even in his thoughts at the time, but had gone beyond that over the years. You were supposed to grow out of the stage where even negative attention is better than being ignored. The fact that Eric had been forgiving enough (or horny enough) to kiss him anyway had astonished Adam, but it was all a little too late. Eric deserved better than him—at least better than him long distance. All he really had to offer was sex, and that wasn’t something he could give someone over the phone or by email. His personality was shit and he was kind of a moron. Even his dirty talk was shit. But he did wish he had Eric’s phone number. Might be fun to text him, even if it was never anything more.

He hated military school, but they kept them too busy for him to get into trouble much. The first holiday of the semester, he came home.

Surprisingly, people wanted him to come to their parties. Just for gossip. Not because they cared about him.

He looked around for Eric. He was usually easy to find. Those bold fashion choices Adam made fun of but had missed the few days Eric hadn’t worn them. He came in with that friend of his and some girl a half an hour after Adam got there. Eric looked good. Really good. He was wearing something tight and multi-coloured that looked cute on him but would look bizarre on anyone else. Looked pleased when anyone approached him in a friendly way.

Adam swallowed his terror, opened a cider and sauntered over to him. “Hey.”

Eric did a double take. “You’re back!” He grinned that big grin of his and bounced on his toes.

Adam wasn’t sure anyone had ever been that happy to see him. He knew Eric never had before. Most of the time Eric hadn’t even noticed Adam there, even when Adam was looking directly at him. It was part of the reason he’d started throwing him into things. He’d wanted to shout at him to pay attention to him, but you couldn’t do that. Not unless you’re five. He felt the swoop of nerves in his belly transform into a warm, comfortable feeling he wasn’t used to. “Just on holiday. They’re shipping me back to boarding school for Tuesday.”

Eric frowned. “Can’t you do something crazy and get kicked out of that place? You know, whip your dick out or something?”

Adam shrugged. “They’re used to people a lot crazier than me. My mother said if I got through a semester with no drama, she might be able to convince my dad to let me come back. If nothing else the savings in tuition would be an incentive.”

“It’s good to see you, man,” Eric said. He awkwardly reached over and hugged him.

Adam let himself hug Eric back. He was the only person other than his mother to hug him when he got back to town, and Adam was sure if the two of them weren’t invisible at this party people would think Eric was crazy for it. When he pulled away he happened to catch New Kid’s eye—well, Eric really mustn’t have told him about them.

“I brought cider if you want one,” Adam said.

Eric nodded and followed him back to the kitchen. He took the drink, opened it, and took a large gulp. “Thanks,” he said. Maybe he was as nervous as Adam.

“I could use a smoke. Want to join me outside?”

Eric nodded. They were almost out the back door when the friend came and tried to stop Eric from going outside, Eric said something cheerful and reassuring, and then they made it out the door.

“He think I’m trying to beat you up or something?” Adam asked.

Eric swayed closer to Adam as he walked, his side brushing against Adam’s tantalizingly. “He’s just confused. He’s not completely alone in feeling confused about all this.”

Adam put his drink down on the patio table and lit a cigarette. “I suppose you want to talk about it? I can’t just grab you and kiss you and avoid all that?”

Eric choked on his cider. “You’re still…you still want to kiss me?”

Adam shrugged. “If that’s something you’d be okay with.”

Eric glanced around and Adam did the same. It was chilly out, and if there were other kids in the backyard, he couldn’t see them. Eric moved closer and Adam turned his head and pushed the smoke out of his lungs, then breathed in and met Eric’s lips as he moved them closer. It was a nice kiss, like last time. When the kiss ended Adam tightened his arms around Eric and hugged him. “I missed you.”

“Can you use your phone in that place?”

Adam nodded.

Eric made grabby hands and Adam took out his phone, unlocked it and turned it over to him. Adam heard Eric’s phone chime so he must have sent himself a text.

Eric handed the phone back. “So text me next time you miss me.”

“I didn’t want you to…you know. Feel obligated. We fooled around once. I forced you to pay attention to me enough over the years.”

Eric shot him a grin. “Oh, is that what you were doing?”

Adam felt unusually solemn. He wasn’t accustomed to being sincere. “Yeah. It was. Well, partially. Sometimes I was jealous of you because you were brave enough to be fancy and sensitive. Sorry I was such a pain about it.”

Eric looked conflicted, and then, as usual, smiled through whatever confusion he was feeling. “It wasn’t all bad. There was a certain pageantry to the whole bullying thing that meant I never really thought you were going to beat me up. I should have realized after years of threats with no actual beat downs.”

Adam leaned closer. “Nah. I meant every word. You just never take anything seriously.” But that wasn’t what he meant. Not really. Eric had a way of blurring the line between bully’s victim and friend with his incandescent good-nature, but Adam wasn’t sure how to say that. Like it seemed half the time Eric forgot he was supposed to be afraid of Adam—but then Adam would be a dick again and remind him. Being afraid just wasn’t something Eric was particularly good at, Adam suspected. 

Eric ran a hand over Adam’s shaved head. “Badass haircut.”

Adam pushed his hand away gently and caressed Eric’s shoulder. “You’re the one who looks good. Fuck you look good.”

Eric swayed closer and stole another quick kiss. “You want to go somewhere? Be alone?”

“Do you? You like parties more than I do.” He ran a knuckle down Eric’s cheek lightly.

The door opened behind them. Adam turned away from Eric and tossed his ignored cigarette away. It had gone out on its own. He looked back at the door and saw it was that pale kid.

“Why don’t you come back inside?” the pale kid asked Eric, still standing in the open door.

Adam crossed his arms. “Jesus New Kid. You make him go to the bathroom with you like a girl, too?”

Eric slapped his shoulder. “Don’t be a dick.”

Adam couldn’t help but smile at this evidence Eric wasn’t afraid of him anymore. New Kid looked confused. Adam uncrossed his arms. “You could have told him. Everyone in the school tells him their most embarrassing secrets.”

Eric frowned. “So it’s embarrassing?”

“For you, maybe. Not for me.”

The other kid looked between them. His gaze settled on Eric. “You’ll tell me later?”

Eric grinned. “Yep. We’re going to head out. Text me in the morning, okay?”

It took another minute to convince him that Eric wasn’t being held hostage, and then they started walking away. A ways down the road Eric paused. “You forgot your drinks.”

“I’ll go back for them if you want them. Otherwise I’m not fussed.”

Eric kept walking, so Adam did, too. He put his arm around Eric’s shoulder and was surprised and pleased when Eric let him. He even leaned into it, a bit, and then turned his face towards Adam’s, so that Adam leaned over and kissed him. It was strangely easy to be with Eric, to trade the closeness of intimidation for the closeness of intimacy. The way Adam’s father treated him probably was at fault on his part, making him confuse aggression with affection, but he wasn’t sure what Eric’s excuse was. Eric’s father seemed to be the sweetest guy alive. Maybe that made Eric think that even jerks like Adam were good at heart. Probably a bad habit to have, although in his case he hoped it was true.

“Why do you even like me?” he asked. He immediately regretted asking it.

Eric laughed lightly. “I’m not sure.” He paused for a moment. Adam nearly died of suspense and then Eric went on: “I guess because you see me. You notice me. Almost no one else at school does. Even Otis doesn’t notice me some of the time and he’s my best friend. You look at me, and you know me. Sure, you used most of what you saw as ammunition against me, but…but I spend an awful lot of time just wanting people to know who I am and look at me and talk to me. You don’t just see me, you think about me. You even show off for me sometimes. I guess…fuck. I guess I like how much you pay attention.”

Adam thought about that as he walked. It was true. Adam thought about Eric a lot. Watched for him. Waited for him. Thought up insults that would fit his outfit or his social situation that day. He could keep doing that, but without the insults. Maybe he could get Eric to stay in his life for a while longer.

When they got to Eric’s place, it empty for some reason, even though Adam knew he had a bunch of sisters. They went up to his room. “Where’s your family? Don’t you have a bunch of sisters?”

Eric smiled. “You know when you put dog shit on my dad’s car, the first thing I thought was, oh my god, Adam Groff knows where I live. And yes. A part of me was just terrified that you’d keep putting dog shit on my dad’s car, or like, jump out from behind a bush and take my lunch money. But another part of me was flattered. How do you know I have sisters?”

Adam shrugged. “Your mom and dad brought them to that arts night thing.”

Eric frowned. “I didn’t even know you were there.”

“I wasn’t participating in it. My dad made me go because, I guess he figured if he had to go I had to go. Not much of a patron of the arts, my dad.”

Eric nodded and then circled back to answer the original question. “There’s a church thing. I go to church with them sometimes. I stopped for a while because I don’t believe in god, but I like going there and just being with people who care. Like a community who wants to build you up.”

Adam stored away this information about Eric not believing in god for later. “Sounds nice. Why didn’t you go?”

Eric shrugged. “Party.”

Adam nodded. “Right.” He wandered around Eric’s room, looking at posters and books and things. He picked up a bra that was on the bed. “Yours?”

Eric laughed. “No. Probably one of my sisters’.”

Adam dropped it like it burned him, and wished he laughed as much as Eric did. Eric moved closer and then they kissed and touched and Adam knew this part. He could get this part right. It was a lot easier than with a girl, somehow, maybe because with Eric there were feelings involved and what he cared about most about was making Eric feel good and that seemed to do more than anything else ever had to make Adam feel good.

They met for a walk the next day and hung out a little by the river, and then they both had family things and then it was back to school. This time it was better, because he talked to Eric by text nearly every day. He asked him why he didn’t believe in god, and thought about whether he did or not for the first time. He missed Eric and tried to notice things about him as much as he could. He didn’t ask Eric to be his boyfriend, and he saw pictures of him on Instagram with another guy for a while, kissing and stuff, and then the guy wasn’t in any of the pictures anymore. Eric didn’t talk about the guy to Adam, but he didn’t stop talking to Adam on text, so Adam didn’t care.

He had a friend. A real one. One who found him attractive but that wasn’t all he liked about him. Adam realized, other than Aimee, and his mom and his sister (both of whom were obligated to love him) he couldn’t think of anyone who had ever sincerely liked him. Most of his friends had seemed to put up with him more than anything. It was his own fault. He’d been an annoying little bastard as a kid and hadn’t really grown out of it. 

One day Eric called and wanted to talk. Adam could tell he’d been crying. He wouldn’t say why. Adam didn’t think it was because of the boy from the photos because that had been weeks ago. He just let Eric talk and talk about school assignments and Otis and Otis’ girlfriend and whatever else, and he was happy when Eric sounded happier at the end of the call.

Eric called more often after that, and Adam was happy he had a friend from home like the other boys. He had been about as successful at making friends as he’d been in his old school. He had some mates he got on with superficially, who he expected would drop him the second he did anything stupid.

Bullying was rampant, but Adam fought back when they tried it on him and didn’t pick on any other boys. He was quiet and did his school work. He’d recently become worried that if he did too well at military school, his dad would congratulate himself on his parenting and never let him come back home, but he supposed it was a risk he would have to take. After all, he had to think of the future. Now that he didn’t have his dad breathing down his neck, he did that sometimes.

One day in the common room of the dorm, the boys started talking about sex, accusing each other of being virgins. Adam stayed quiet, and one of the bullies, Freddy, pounced.

“You a virgin, Adam? A proverbial innocent like your namesake in the garden of Eden?”

Adam shot Freddy an unimpressed look. “I’ve had sex, for what that’s worth.”

Freddy rolled his eyes and looked at his friends. “Oh yeah? What’s your favourite position?”

Adam shrugged. “Any position where I’m having sex.” 

Apparently that comment passed muster as something a non-virgin would say, because Freddy moved on to other boys. He wondered what they’d think if they knew he’d given a boy a blow job. Done more with a boy. Probably they were all wanking each other off whenever they got the chance, even if they weren’t gay or bi. Such things were apparently rampant in boys’ schools, although he’d never seen any proof that this was true.

He still wasn’t sure if he was gay or bi. Or maybe that one where you feel sexually attracted to people you feel connected to? It would be just like him to be one of the weird ones he couldn’t even remember the name for. Ace? No. Demi. But that might not really fit either. Aimee hadn’t been the first girl he’d been with, and those girls had just been random ones he hooked up with at parties. He didn’t even know the one girl’s name. He hardly had a deep and meaningful connection with her. It was hard to know, considering he hadn’t spent much time with any girls since he had sex with a guy. All boys schools were strange places for a lot of reasons, but just not seeing girls for days at a time had to be the weirdest. There were women on staff but not many and not in positions where they interacted with the students everyday—there were no female teachers, for instance.

He tried not to fixate on it, but he worried a little. He didn’t know for sure that his father would have trouble with him having some kind of same sex attraction, but all indications pointed to it being likely as hell. And he wasn’t sure what his mother would think. He’d never heard her say anything negative about gay people, but she tended to not refer to things that made her uncomfortable, and she tended to let his father make many of her choices for her. What if he wanted to kick Adam out and she went along with it because going along with Adam’s father was (and Adam knew this from experience) a lot easier than trying to do something else?

“Hey Adam.” It was Freddy, standing in his dorm room door, looking strangely tentative.

Adam looked up from his notes from his position on his bed. “Yeah?”

“You going to be here next term?”

Adam shrugged. “If my final grades are as good as they should be—if I don’t fuck up my exams—my mom said she might be able to convince my dad to bring me home.”

Freddy frowned. “Yeah. That’s what all the moms say. Then you come home for summer or Christmas and they say, ‘oh we don’t want to make any major changes when you’re doing so well.’ And I mean, you are doing well here. I wanted to ask you if you’d run for class president with me. Like be my vice.”

There were many problems with that idea. One, no one really liked Freddy, but they were too afraid of his bullying to ignore him. If it was a popularity contest, he’d lose. Two, Adam didn’t give a shit about student government or any of the crap they did. It would look good on a Uni application, but he was probably going to go to trade school. His grades were adequate now that he didn’t do anything but study and he no longer had access to dope, but he didn’t have any interest in going further in school and the thought of having some office job or ‘profession’ made him itchy. He’d much rather be an electrician or something, which he’d tried to tell his dad a dozen times. When he was eighteen and could make his own decisions he figured he’d try and find an apprenticeship. He encapsulated his lack of interest by saying to Freddy, “If getting good grades doesn’t get me kicked out then I’ll do something crazier. I’m not planning on being here next semester, so I’d find someone else.”

Freddy raised an eyebrow. “Well, I hope you’re right. But I’m pretty sure I’ll see you in September.”

He had the whole summer to convince his father. And talk up various holiday spots that his mom and dad might travel to using tuition money they wouldn’t need to spend on school considering he didn’t need the discipline of military school any longer.

Eric had a more sinister idea. He thought Adam should come out as gay—or attracted to guys, whatever—and hope that his father didn’t support him and his mother did. This might lead to his mother kicking his father out. They might even get a divorce, and they’d need ready cash for lawyers and keep him home by default. It might actually work, and if Adam had a guarantee it would go that way and wouldn’t end up with him being kicked out on the street he might do it. But he’d looked into it, and apparently you could get an apprenticeship at sixteen, so he might be better off moving out. He’d just have to find somewhere to live for a few months if he was kicked out, and that sounded pretty precarious. He wasn’t terribly confident in his abilities to take care of himself while completely changing his career trajectory. He hadn’t taken any vocational courses—his dad wouldn’t let him—so he would probably have some catching up to do. That and feeding himself and learning to do laundry and going to bed at a normal time might be beyond him. No one had ever accused him of being mature.

When summer holidays started, he found himself bored at home. Moordale had a later last day, so he hung around and asked his mother to teach him to cook and do laundry, just in case. She looked at him like he was an alien, but seemed pleased he was showing an interest in helping out.

Eric rode by on his bike after school one day, and Adam, in the yard with Madam, saw him lingering in the street near his house and gestured for him to cross the street, then invited him in.

Eric gave him a doubtful look. “You sure that’s a good idea? If they see you hang out with the gay kid?”

“They can think what they want. But if you don’t want to risk seeing my dad when he comes home later I understand. No one wants to hang out at the Head Teacher’s house.”

Eric smiled and shook his head. “Not what I was concerned about at all. Thanks for the invite. It just surprised me.”

Eric rode by his house, obviously to see him. Adam probably would have taken an ad out in the paper confessing, in detail, all the ways he’d had sex with Eric at that moment, had Eric asked him to. He just wanted to hold him and kiss him—although, maybe that wasn’t what Eric wanted. It was probably safe to hug him. Friends did that.

They didn’t see his mother when they walked in, although she was home. They went up to Adam’s room and Adam suddenly felt shy. “It’s been a while since we were in the same room.”

Eric nodded and flashed a grin. “Yeah. Missed you when you didn’t come home last holiday.”

That had been when Eric had been seeing someone else. Was he bringing it up as a kind of test? Was he supposed to ask about it, or pretend he didn’t know about it? Or was he supposed to not want to be with Eric anymore? Adam frowned. “I only would have come home to see you, and I didn’t want to get in your way,” he finally said.

“You couldn’t. We’re friends.” Eric put a hand on Adam’s forearm in a gesture meant to reassure, but Adam felt his heart break a little at his words.

Adam pulled his arm away. “I’m sure your boyfriend would have loved to have some delinquent who’s fucking in love with you hanging around all weekend.”

Eric blinked. A couple of times. Adam reviewed what he’d said and wanted to die. He’d never meant to say that—especially like that. It wasn’t something you should say for the first time like that.

Eric didn’t say anything but he didn’t leave. After a few moments he sat down on the bed and said, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Adam shrugged. “I didn’t want to hold you back. You deserve nice things. Nice people. I wanted you to have fun while I was away, not miss me the whole time.”

Eric nodded. “That was a nice thought, but you might’ve asked me my opinion. Maybe I wanted a secret long distance boyfriend—no, that sounds pretty shit. It probably was better we were just friends at the time. But now, we can be more. If you want.”

Adam nodded, and went to sit down beside Eric on the bed. He grabbed his hand like a lifeline, and then Eric was kissing him and he felt tears sting behind his eyes. He’d been afraid he’d fuck it up. He was always afraid he’d fuck things up.

After the kiss Adam held him close. “I’ll come out for you, if you want. I’ll do anything for you. I love you so much.”

Eric pulled back and looked him in the eye. He was looking at him like he was crazy again. He did that. “You don’t come out for someone else. You come out for yourself. Especially when you’re in a situation where you don’t feel safe. It isn’t about me.”

Adam wiped his eyes. “But you want a boyfriend you can tell people about and all that.”

Eric squeezed his arm. “I want a boyfriend who’s safe and has a home and a family who helps him with his education. If you have to keep me a secret for that to be true, then that’s what we’ll do. I think—” he stopped. He started to talk again and then looked Adam in the eye and then looked away. “I want what’s best for you. I care about you. A lot.”

Adam suspected he’d been about to say that he loved Adam. He was glad he’d held himself back, if he wasn’t sure. Or even if he wasn’t ready to say it. This conversation had been heavy enough. He nodded and kissed Eric again. It maybe got a little too passionate for a day when his mom was home, and Adam pulled back. “I don’t want to stop. I really don’t. But my mom’s home. She doesn’t knock when she walks into my room and she doesn’t know you’re here.”

“Never fun when your parent walks in. My dad once walked into the room when I was trying on makeup with a girl and watching gay porn.”

Adam shook his head. “What goes on at your house? I bet your dad was lovely about it, too.”

Eric shrugged. “He shook his head a bit and looked at me funny for a few days.”

They chatted for a while about school and summer plans—Eric was looking for a job again, and considering he planned on leaving home if they tried to force him to go back to military school, Adam should try and get one, too. Problem was he had a bit of a reputation in town for being a shit. And doing wildly inappropriate things. Maybe someone would let him take out the trash or something.

He was occupied with that for a while, and with helping Eric do his own job search, when he got help from an unexpected source. Aimee’s dad, who he’d spent some time talking to when they’d been together, called him back and offered him a job doing yard work at the hotel he owned.

Eric complained that he was slinging fast food in a nerdy uniform while Adam was hobnobbing with wealthy guests looking dreamy in his dirt-stained jeans and a wife beater. Adam didn’t want to tell him he also spent a bunch of time driving drunk rich people back to their rooms from the pool in a golf cart. The best part of the job was that his supervisor and Aimee’s dad both said they would help him find an apprenticeship, and they knew lots of people in the trades. He kind of wanted to start an apprenticeship right away, but when he looked into it, he realized he needed a different math course and a few other course requirements to make it happen, so ideally he’d stay in school one more semester.

So he found himself walking into Moordale again in September. He had been able to persuade his dad he was responsible enough to come back, mostly by accident, because he’d applied for and done well in a job without being asked to. His dad had also sworn he wouldn’t interfere with Adam’s ambitions, and had allowed him to come into see the guidance councillor before school started and pick the best courses to prepare him for an apprenticeship. That was good, but he didn’t have any courses with Eric, which wasn’t ideal. It would be fun to be able to do homework together.

He had a sense of nostalgia when he went to Eric’s locker to wait for him. Eric had texted him to tell him which locker had been assigned to him the day before. 

The halls filled up with people, and then Otis and Eric walked up carrying their bike helmets.

Otis smiled tentatively. “Hi Adam. Good summer?”

Adam leveled a look at him. “Yep. Still perving on other people’s sex lives, Otis?”

Otis’ smile faltered. “I mean, not perving, but I am, uh…”

Eric pushed Adam out of the way and started putting things in his locker. “Just ignore him, Otis. What’s your first class, Adam?” 

“Welding.”

Eric lit up. “Are you going to make me a beautiful art project? Like a rose that will never fade?”

Adam nodded. “If you like.”

“I would like. That sounds fantastic. What other courses have you got?”

They talked about their schedules for a while. Eric and Otis were in several of the same classes and were excited about some of them.

Anwar paused and looked at them. “What’s all this, then? Does the resident sex therapist need a body guard or something?”

“Piss off,” Adam said.

Eric smiled and actually waved. “Hi Anwar. Yeah. We’re friends is all. That’s why we’re all hanging out. No ulterior motive.”

Anwar looked extremely doubtful, as though he couldn’t imagine such a friendship. Adam wasn’t sure if he should be insulted for his own sake or Eric’s. Anwar walked away.

“You going to sit with us at lunch?” Eric asked. His face looked hopeful.

Adam nearly laughed. He hadn’t had anyone to sit with at lunch since he’d showed the entire school his dick. “Yeah, of course. I’ll see you then. I have to work after school, though.”

“That’s a shame.”

Adam nodded and they started walking. Eric’s job had only been for the summer, so it was only Adam’s job at the hotel that might interfere with them spending time together. But he had nearly enough money for three month’s rent and a couple hundred a month for food, which he and Eric had decided was a sensible amount of savings to start an apprenticeship on if it turned out he had to move out of his parents’ house. He just needed a little more, so he had to keep working. He wanted to be able to move out by February. He didn’t want to have to keep pretending to be someone he wasn’t for much longer.

Adam spent as much time with Eric as he could in the fall, and they always had lunch together. He hadn’t felt so happy since he’d been with Aimee—although his happiness with Aimee had a lot to do with being acceptable. When he’d been with her, her friends had had to talk to him. His parents had seen him as popular and normal. His life had been like a TV show. Now his happiness was actually—it was happiness. He knew Eric cared for him, and he loved him, and they took care of each other. Neither of them were alone anymore, no matter what bad thing happened.

Adam was less desperate to make friends when he had a real one, and he started to make real friends. Some of them were shop kids and some of them were a little stupid, but he got on with them well and he liked having people to hang out with when Eric was busy doing other things.

One of his best mates was Toby. Toby wanted to be a welder and he had a cruel streak, but he was always nice to Adam and he hadn’t ever picked on anyone Adam knew.

That was until the day he picked on Eric.

Eric was wearing something pretty and femme. Emerald green shirt with blue eyeliner and dark brown pants. He looked hot. Toby and Adam walked into the lunch room together. If Toby usually ate lunch in the cafeteria he would have known that Adam always sat with Eric, and he probably wouldn’t have called him a faggot and hit him in the back off the head when he was about to take a drink, knocking his milk out of his hand and all over his shirt.

Adam didn’t think. He didn’t even look at Eric. He just punched Toby as hard as he could.

Toby crumbled to the floor and didn’t get up.

“Holy shit Adam,” Eric said, “What the hell?”

“I didn’t mean to hit him so hard.” He crouched down. “Toby? You still alive, mate?”

Toby groaned and started to stir.

His dad appeared in the entryway of the cafeteria and called out, “Adam, come with me.”

Adam ignored him and looked at Eric. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have hit him like that.”

Eric smiled slightly. “I just don’t want you to get in trouble. Thanks for standing up for me. Next time use your words.”

Adam exhaled in relief. Eric wasn’t really mad, just worried. He could deal with that.

His dad had walked over and now grabbed his arm. “You need to come with me right now. You will not hit people in this school.”

“He’s homophobic prick and he hit my boyfriend!” Adam shouted. There was a ripple around the room at this. He’d said it loud enough to get every eye on him even if he hadn’t just punched someone and laid them out on the floor. A chorus of whispers followed. He wondered how many people were filming, and if it would make it to YouTube. 

“You have a tendency to overshare in this cafeteria,” Eric said mildly.

His dad looked at Eric. “Is this true? Are you my son’s boyfriend?”

Eric flashed a nervous grin. “Ah, yeah. I mean, yes. Sure.”

Adam snorted a laugh. “You could try to sound more convincing. Are you sure you’re okay?”

Eric nodded and Adam finally looked at his dad. Years of teaching had given him a remarkable talent for showing no reaction to insults or surprises. He jerked his head towards the teacher who was supervising and said, “Bring Toby to the nurse. If he’s okay, send him to my office.”

The teacher nodded and started to help Toby to his feet. 

Adam’s dad glanced at Eric. “I suppose you better get yourself cleaned up and come to the office when you’re done.”

Eric nodded.

Adam’s dad didn’t kick him out of the house. He did get both Toby and Adam in trouble for what had happened in the cafeteria, and he encouraged Adam not to spend time with Eric and to think of their relationship as a phase he had gone through that was now over. His mother looked at him with something that might have been compassion or sympathy in her eyes, but said nothing. Adam ignored his dad and planned on spending as much time with Eric as before. He kept saving money just in case. 

When he got back to school after his suspension, people gossiped about him and Eric for a few days and then it was no big deal. Many of Adam’s shop friends congratulated him on being the kind of gay that didn’t shove it in your face and said he was alright with them. Adam felt vaguely insulted by this for a number of reasons but stayed silent about it. 

Eric was extremely happy to be at the centre of school-wide gossip and noticed by everyone. Adam found it kind of funny. He’d have given anything to be a nobody at school. How’d he end up in love with someone who only wanted to be noticed?

The funniest part of eating lunch with Eric was that Eric and Otis had quite a little friend group now. Maeve, Aimee, Aimee’s boyfriend, and Ola, plus a few others, crowded around one cafeteria table.

One day Aimee’s boyfriend, who was a nice bloke who didn’t seem to hold any of Adam’s past actions against him, turned to Eric and Adam. “I guess you two must have a great sex life, seeing as how you’re best friends with the sex therapist.”

Eric laughed. “Adam and I have never needed any help with that!” He looked around the table and probably realized that nearly everyone at the table had needed Otis’ help at some point. He flashed a nervous grin. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”

Otis shot a thoughtful glance at Adam, and Adam could guess what he was thinking. He was probably thinking that he couldn’t help anyone sexually if they weren’t honest with him, and Adam’s problem with Aimee had probably been about him being gay rather than whatever bullshit Adam had said it was about at the time.

Aimee chimed in. “Adam went for him when he was with me.”

Adam glared. “Yeah, that’s ‘cause you’re a girl?”

Aimee’s eyes opened wider. “You mean you’re not bi? Wow, you’re really good at straight sex for a gay guy.”

Eric nodded. “He’s really good at sex full stop. It’s one of my top five favourite things about him.”

Adam shook his head to cover his embarrassment about his sex life being discussed, and wondered if it was right to say he was gay, not bi. It would work for now. Possibly he was so messed up about being bi it had meant he couldn’t even have straight sex properly? He didn’t know. And he wasn’t about to go to Otis and talk about it. Maybe Otis’ mother?

Nah. Saying he was gay outright was very irritating to his father so he’d stick with that, at least for now. 

**Author's Note:**

> This might be a one shot, or I might add another chapter. It was supposed to be like 2000 words so I might end up being unable to resist adding more :)
> 
> Also, since the entire point of the show is to discuss issues like Adam's confusion over his sexuality, I'm sure he wouldn't just internalize it on the show--this part could be a whole episode. I wasn't trying to do bi erasure or anything. I think the way Adam is portrayed leads me to think he is gay, but stuff the actor says leads me to think it's maybe more complicated than that. Anyway Adam just thinks about it a bit but ultimately is not to worried about it in this story.


End file.
